Overdoing noise has a way of showing itself in how someone carries themselves when they’ve been carrying too much for too long. You can feel it before they ever say a word. It’s not just about being busy—lots of people are busy. This is different. This is the kind of doing that goes past what’s necessary.
It’s like the many layers of effort shift us from simply doing to surviving; a way of operating that, over time, quietly erodes both the quality of life and the capacity to fully live it.
I’ve been working with a client—I’ll call her Lisa—for almost two years now. Together we’ve been peeling back nearly 50 years of those layers.
What started as noise in the form of constant doing has, over time, softened. She’s learned to let her Core-Self take the lead more than she ever has, and there’s something about the way she moves through life now that has people around her saying, “something is different about you.”
I would describe the season she’s in as her unfoldment where it’s less about noticing the pattern of overdoing and more about gently working with what’s underneath it, layer by layer, and at a pace that feels safe and ready for her.
How Deep This Overdoing Noise Has Ran
During our session, one story stood out as a clear entry point into how overdoing still shows up for Lisa even after nearly two years of learning to align her identity internally, where she’s been allowing what she desires to come toward her, instead of letting her misaligned, fragmented parts take the lead and push her further into more effort and more chasing.
She shared she had been sick the day before an appointment; sick enough that most people would have canceled without hesitation. And yet, she emailed the woman she was supposed to meet to let her know she would still show up.
The reply she received caused her to pause:
“You sound like you need to rest more than you need this meeting.”
That simple reflection landed really well because while there are times in life when pushing through is necessary—a presentation that only you can give, a life event you can’t miss, or a situation where the short-term cost is worth the long-term gain—this wasn’t one of those times.
This meeting didn’t carry that kind of weight. It was simply her old reflex at play: a deep, automatic drive to keep showing up so she doesn’t disappoint anyone—a pattern where avoiding disappointment takes priority over listening to what her own body is asking for. It’s a way of managing priorities and energy that leaves her out of the equation.
And here’s the powerful part: Two years ago, she might have gone anyway. Now, her life is starting to reflect back a different standard. The people around her are holding up mirrors that say, alignment matters more than pushing through at the cost of your wellbeing.
That’s a big shift.
For Lisa, this wasn’t about the meeting. It was about an old, deeply ingrained part of her that equates doing with worth, even when her body is saying stop.
Even with all of the refinement she’s done, this story was a reminder: Certain behaviors that have been running on autopilot for decades don’t just vanish. Sometimes the deeper layers will surface in faint or subtle ways in an effort to reveal what’s ready to be refined next.That’s where we began in this session—not from a place of starting over, but from a place of curiosity: What is still alive inside that reflexes to do more? What part of her is trying to protect her by pushing past what her body is asking for and requiring to operate at her best.
What Lies Beneath Overdoing
Overdoing is one of the most common forms of inner noise for high-achievers.
It hides behind good intentions:
- “I’m showing up for others.”
- “I’m being reliable.”
- “I’m doing what it takes.”
But beneath all those statements, there’s almost always a quieter, more vulnerable story running:
- If I keep moving, I don’t have to feel the weight of ____.
- If I take a break, I might lose momentum.
- If I pause, I might lose relevance, respect, a sense of belonging, or my sense of worth.
We think of overdoing as a scheduling problem, but it’s a survival strategy. And survival strategies don’t just live in our calendars, they live in our bodies.
When we started looking more closely at Lisa’s story, here’s what we found:
- She had trained her nervous system to feel safe only in motion.
- Pausing felt like letting people down, so she kept pushing—even through sickness.
- She measured her worth and ability to earn money through output.
Over time, that constant motion became so normal that stillness created anxious energy within her.
What We Worked on in the Session
The first thing I reflected to Lisa was the noise of feeling the need to push through and do more.
“Do you notice,” I asked, “that even when you talk about slowing down, it comes with a list of things you think you should be doing?”
She laughed a little because she could see it once it was called out because there’s a tone to overdoing—it’s restless even when you’re talking about rest.
From there, we slowed everything down. I asked her:
- What do you want to experience, if achievement wasn’t the metric?
- If nobody was needing you, what would your body do right now?
There was a long moment of silence.
“Honestly? I just want quiet. I want to wake up and feel no urgency. I want to walk on the beach and not be thinking about what I need to add to my to-do list.”
We let that land—holding space for the insight to further settle, so she could feel the weight of it in her body instead of rushing past it with the next thought.
That sentence might sound simple, but for someone who has spent years overdoing, it’s revolutionary. From there, we started working on three pieces:
1. Reclaiming Permission to Pause
Pausing wasn’t a skill she had mastered; it wasn’t even on her radar.
Together, we reframed pausing as a strategy, not a liability. It’s the soil from which real clarity and energy grow. I asked her to imagine that every pause she takes is an investment in her next right action, not an interruption to her productivity.
2. Separating “Doing” from “Being”
Lisa had spent decades equating her value with what she produces. When we untangled those two things, she started to see that:
- Her best ideas, connections, and insights never come when she’s sprinting.
- They come in the spaces where she’s simply being—with intention, not agenda.
This shift takes time. For a high-achiever, it can feel terrifying. But even a small awareness that being is valuable all on its own can start to create cracks in the illusion that overdoing is what makes someone valuable.
3. Listening to the Body
This was the hardest one for her.
When I asked, “What does your body want?” she had to sit with the question for a while. She’s been conditioned to bypass it.
Her answer?
“I think my body just wants to be let off the hook. It wants to sleep when it’s tired instead of proving something.”
That, right there, is how the noise starts to quiet: when the body is allowed to speak, and we listen.
Signs You’re Stuck in Overdoing Mode
If you’re wondering whether overdoing is running your life, here are some signs to look for:
- You feel guilty when you rest.
Even on weekends or vacations, you’ll hear that familiar voice that says, You should be doing something. - You measure worth by productivity.
When you’re not producing, you feel anxious or unmoored. - Your body’s requests come last.
Sleep, nourishment, and movement get pushed aside because there’s always something or someone more important. - Stopping feels unsafe.
When there’s space in your calendar, you instinctively fill it—because quiet feels threatening. - Even joy becomes another item on the list.
You “do” fun the same way you do work: fast and with an agenda.
These are all signals of inner noise in the form of motion.
Rest is Not a Weakness
One of the hardest truths for people like Lisa to accept is that rest is not a weakness. Rest is the place where ideas have time to incubate, where emotional resilience grows, and where self-trust is built. It isn’t an interruption to progress; it’s the very thing that makes sustainable progress possible.
Think about an athlete: recovery time is not optional. It’s part of the performance plan.
The same is true for high-achievers in every field.
Overdoing isn’t a strength. It’s a slow erosion of your capacity to think, create, and experience a quality life.
Stillness Is a Skill You Build
Quiet is a skill, not a default setting.
For someone like Lisa, learning to pause is like retraining a muscle that has atrophied. You start small—five minutes of sitting without reaching for your phone, a walk without podcasts or calls, saying no to one unnecessary meeting, or letting an email sit unanswered for an hour instead of replying immediately. These small choices begin to teach the body that slowing down is safe.
These micro-practices teach your body that nothing terrible happens when you slow down. In fact, the opposite is true—and though it may feel counterproductive at first, slowing down brings everything that actually matters into sharper focus.
It’s how you begin to see the 80/20 truth: that a smaller amount of aligned energy creates a greater impact than constant, scattered effort ever could.
Why Overdoing Is So Common in High Achievers
If you recognize yourself in Lisa, you’re in good company.
High achievers often carry early conditioning that says:
- I’m only valuable when I’m useful.
- If I slow down, someone else will get ahead.
- I don’t have time to fall apart.
Combine that with a culture that rewards hustle and grind over alignment, and you have a perfect storm.
But here’s the truth: the very thing you think is keeping you safe is also keeping you from the life you want.
From Hustle to Harmony
What surfaced in this session wasn’t a brand-new epiphany. It was a reflection of how much has already changed for Lisa.
Two years ago, she would have pushed through that meeting without a second thought. Now, she noticed the pattern as it happened. And when the woman on the other end of the email told her to rest, Lisa didn’t resist. She could feel the truth in it.
This is the quiet evidence of her evolution:
- Rest and alignment are beginning to take priority over habit and obligation.
- She is learning to pause long enough to choose, rather than automatically push through.
There wasn’t a dramatic collapse or a sudden Post-it note epiphany.
What there was, instead, was a steady recognition that life feels different when her Core-Self leads—and that difference is beginning to show up in her choices, moment by moment.
The New Question to Ask Yourself
If you’ve been living in the noise of overdoing, here’s a question to sit with:
What would it feel like to be safe in stillness?
Not productive. Not achieving. Not proving. Just safe.
Safe enough to listen. Safe enough to be.
If you recognize yourself in Lisa’s story—the drive, the overdoing, the quiet cost it’s taken on your life—consider this your moment to pause. You don’t have to untangle decades of patterns alone. This is the work I do: helping high-achievers step out of the noise, align with their Core-Self, and finally let life flow from there. If that’s what you’re ready for, let’s begin.